Talking Someone Out of Joining Toastmasters by Arthur Byrd

This is what I didn't learn in a Toastmasters meeting. Actually, it happened at breakfast with a good friend at a Bob Evans’ Restaurant. This has never happened to me that I would deliberately talk someone out of joining Toastmasters.

On a Friday evening, I was at a college women's volleyball game. I saw a message on my phone from my good friend, Rick who lives in Columbus, Ohio after living in the area for many years.  Rick and I have been very good friends since working at McDonalds’ and a parking lot in college. After a few pleasantries, Rick asks me to an early morning breakfast on Saturday. He was in town to do some fix up work on his house that his family still owned.

Rick owns a car dealership in Columbus, Sandoval Buick GMC (shameless friend plugged, what the heck, he has earned it).

At breakfast, Rick tells me how things at the dealership are going. He talked about the sales meeting he has every day with his managers and salespeople. Then, Rick asked me about Toastmasters. I told about the meeting and what happens during a meeting like the 90 training tip and the speeches given by the Toastmasters.

Rick said he should try to join club in Columbus. He said he was dealing with a lot of ums and ahs in speaking. The feared filler words used by most people in unscripted conversation as they tried to make a point.

Rick wanted to get rid of or reduce his ums and ahs. I told him that I didn't believe he needed Toastmasters because during our conversation. He really didn’t have a lot of ums and ahs. I said the ums and ahs come from the uncertainty of knowing what will be said next.

In normal conversation, Rick was fine. I said “I am sure that how you speak to your managers and salespeople. They understand what you are saying and understand the important points of the meeting.”

I explained in Toastmasters as a member there are speeches which come from a certain manual that outlines different types of speeches to keep the speaker improving. Once they have done a speech at the meeting it is gone forever unless somebody records it.

At the moment, Rick is running a huge operation with his dealership that makes his time limited.  That limited time should be spent with his wife, two daughters, dogs and a very large extended family.

I know Rick and if he would join Toastmasters, he would be all in and devote a lot of time to the club. That is great but other parts of his life would suffer.  I told him that he is already a good communicator.

So, I told him the secret of reducing the ums and ahs which is just “slowdown.” Your mind is working faster than your mouth. By slowing down, both your mind and mouth start to work in sync delivering a smooth speaking tone.

I've seen Toastmasters start with 19 ums and ahs in their early Toastmasters meetings.  During a Toastmasters meeting, there is an ums and ahs counter who rings a bell each time someone says an um or ah.  Towards the end of the meeting, there is an evaluator who calls on the um and ah counter who will tell how many ums and ahs each person had during the meeting.

After hearing the bell, so many times, the Toastmaster slows down and begin to reduce the number of their ums and ahs. It is pretty amazing thing to experience their transformation in reducing and in some cases eliminating ums and ahs.

Toastmasters may not be the right fit for Rick at the moment.

Someone like you may benefit in what Toastmasters has to offer in better communications and leadership skills.

Now time for a shameless plug.

www.sandovalbuickgmc.com

Arthur Byrd has been a member of Executive 408 Toastmasters Youngstown, since 2009. He earned a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) the highest honor in Toastmasters in 2016.

He has been the past President of Executive 408 Youngstown, the past Vice President of Public Relations for 408 and the past Area Governor for Area 13 in District 10 in Ohio.

For information about Executive 408 Toastmasters Youngstown. Please visit http://www.speakingclub.org

You can visit on Mondays from 6:45pm- 8:45pm at Adamas Square, 8131 Market Street, Boardman, Ohio 44512

Also, there is another Toastmasters club in Warren, Ohio. They meet twice a month, every second and fourth Saturday at 9am at Christ Episcopal Church, 2627 Atlantic

Ave, NE in Warren, Ohio. (Go around to the back)

The Hardest Evaluation Ever.

Toastmasters is not just presenting a speech. As a Toastmaster, you can participate in several speaking opportunities during a meeting with specific roles such as Toastmaster, the Opener/Closer, the Joke Master, the 90 second tip and Table Topics Master.

I believe one of the most difficult roles in Toastmasters is the evaluator.

There is no specific way to prepare for the role because you are hearing the speaker and the speech for the first time. The evaluator has to be aware of the good and the parts of the speech and speaker that can be improved.

This week, I had the hardest evaluation ever. The speaker’s speech was to be 12 minutes long. The average speech time is 5 to 7 minutes. So, I would have to keep attention for 12 minutes which is really hard. You're listening to the speech and trying to put trying to pull out certain things to give feedback and suggestions to the speaker.

I was curious on how long the actual speech was going to be, so I use my own timer to time speech.

During the speech, the speaker did a lot of great things such as being very relaxed and giving great information.

I saw the yellow light timing light come on for the person. The person didn't even look at the light. It felt like the person was just getting revved up instead of making certain points. My timer was reading 10 minutes.

The speaker kept going. A few moments later, I looked at the timer light that was shining bright red. It had no effect on the speaker. I was looking down at my timer that was showing 15 minutes.

I glanced around at the audience, some were trying to be attentive, as others were looking around not knowing where to put their attention. The speech continue on and on. Then, the speaker said,” in conclusion” and wrapped up the speech.

I pressed the button on my timer. As the light applause was filled the room. My timer read 22 minutes.

My first thought was how to address the time factor along with the great things that the speaker did.

Now that the speech was so long. The whole meeting was thrown off by 10 minutes. Table Topics had only a few participants and leaving some of the guests out.

As I was writing my evaluation, I knew I had to factor in reducing my evaluation time at the lectern. So, I had to concentrate on the important points of the speech.

After doing evaluations over the years, I always try to provide takeaways for the speaker and the audience. I made a decision to focus on the good things the speaker did like coming to the side of the lectern while reading from a book, coming out into the audience and having a calming presence.

Also, I decided to address the issue of going way over time. I told the speaker and audience that I had actually timed the speech myself and it came out to 22 minutes. This is before the timer's official report.

I suggested to the speaker to time the speech out during the practice process. I mentioned that the speech could have been split into two speeches.

Even though, my evaluation time was short. I wanted the speaker and the audience to know the cost of going over the allotted time. I made a reference to a former member, the late David Casey who said that when a person goes over their specific time that it takes away from the other speakers. I made the reference in the most gentle, but yet direct way I could.

As I was speaking, I would occasionally glance to the speaker who was nodding in agreement. At that point, I knew that I was not coming off as an “evaluation villain.”

As a Toastmaster evaluator, I am always concerned about the speaker's feelings because I want to encourage them and not tear them down.

This evaluation was one of the hardest one I had to do because of what I had to say could really upset the speaker.

As I was writing the evaluation and later approaching the lectern to give the evaluation, I kept thinking of a quote by Franklin D Roosevelt that I keep in my notebook. It reads “Be sincere, Be brief, Be seated.” That is exactly what I did.

I knew I made the right choices when the speaker asked for my evaluation notes with a smile.  Toastmasters has taught me even when it is hard, still get up to the lectern and be open and honest.

 Bio

Arthur Byrd is a six year member and the current President of Executive 408 Toastmasters in Youngstown.

He is an Advanced Communicator Gold and working on his Advanced Leader Silver moving his way towards his DTM.

Visit Executive 408 Toastmasters in Youngstown

Executive 408 Toastmasters Youngstown meets every Monday 6:45-8:45 p.m at the Summitville Tile Building at 621 Boardman-Canfield Road in Boardman, Ohio.

Follow Art on Twitter @artbyrdview

Follow Executive Club Toastmasters on Twitter @Executive408

Click on Facebook for Executive Club Toastmasters Youngstown

Also, listen to On The Table with Kim Krajci  

http://onthetablepodcasts.com/

Rusty Me

What I've learned is that when I haven't done a 5 to 7 minute speech in over a year. I am really rusty.

There were a few reasons why I hadn’t presented any speeches for awhile. Last October, I was involved with a Business Symposium at our local library with other Toastmasters. In November, someone saw a newspaper article on the Symposium and asked me to do a speech on listening at a local high school.  Then, I had the great honor of giving a keynote speech on Video Branding for the District 10 Spring conference.

All of those events took time and preparation which took me away from actually doing manual speeches.

Finally, this year in early October, I was getting the speaking itch again. So, I asked to be put on the schedule for a speech for an upcoming meeting. I had about four weeks to prepare for the speech. It took awhile with two weeks to go, but I did come up with a subject.

In the past few months, I had to say “no” to a few people for projects they were working on or a role that they wanted me to do.

I researched the topic of “saying no” and discovered that I could tell my “saying no” stories and give the audience some takeaways for their own use.

Four weeks passed and the “saying no” speech was scheduled for Monday. I was still writing the speech up to Sunday. I timed the speech that was ranging from 8 to 10 minutes. I wanted to trim that down to only about 9 minutes.

I cut some things out and the speech was still long. I really like the beginning speech with the late Steve Jobs of Apple asking his Design Chief, Jony Ive, the same question every day ” How many times have you said no, today?”

I knew it was a strong beginning for the speech. I built the speech from that. I found an article called” The Gentle Art of Saying No.” I knew that would play off my name (Art, get it) really well.

I was making a reference to singer Rick James when I talked about L7, the emotional prison, the Square. James had an album (boy, am I aging myself?) called Bustin Out of L7. The album cover showed James busting through a wall of a prison with some hot women and holding his guitar.  He meant being a boring square. I thought of L7 as being some sort of prison.

I always felt trapped in a prison like situation when I said yes to a project or something that I didn’t want to do.

On Monday, the day of the meeting, I made more cuts on the speech. The speech was still running a close nine minutes. My introduction said 8 to 10 minutes for the speech.  I wanted to give myself some leeway.

I kept practicing even though I have was having trouble with the Steve Jobs story beginning. I kept messing up the Jony Ive quotes. I pushed on with my practicing behind my musical sheet stand which fills in as a lectern when I practice. Surprisingly, I felt comfortable with the rest of the speech.

At the meeting, since I am the President of the club I would have to start the meeting. So, I would lose some time to look over the speech. Then, I was assigned to do the opening/closing. My thoughts were scattered. During the clapping for speakers, I would try to look go over the notes.

My confidence was seeping from me as I was not remembering things for the speech. Maybe, I should have not looked at anything and just went on my instincts of knowing the material.

After the break, I was the first speaker. As Ed Haller, the Toastmaster was reading my intro, I stood up and moved to the side of the room.

Weeks before the speech, Kallie, a new member and I road tripped together to Akron to see fellow Executive 408 Toastmaster Ed win a Humorous speech contest.

During the road trip, Kallie said she was excited to hear me speak. Her excitement made me a little nervous. Here is a new member that wants to hear me speak. The question came in the back of my mind what if I don't do well for the audience and now, Kallie.

Well, Kallie was at the meeting. She said to me again, she was excited to hear me speak. In the past, people have told me they were looking forward to hearing me speak. That would make me nervous, but it was a part of the process that made me focus on the speech. I was not feeling that process at that moment because of the factors: unsure of the knowing the speech completely and the speech was long.

After I took to the floor, I looked into the audience. Then, I look at Kallie, who was smiling at me. I started out with the Steve Jobs/Jony Ive story. I stumbled and went on a word free-fall. I couldn't string anything together. I saw Kallie’s face go from excited to confused to a the totally WTH look.

I literally started laughing in my mind, how funny her face looked. Then, I glance at the rest the audience. I paused for a moment which usually would feel like an eternity, but it didn’t for me. It was my second wind and I started get on track and I stayed there as I had fun telling my stories and learning the gentle way of “saying no.”

I could see my evaluator, Ed looking at me and then writing something down. In past speeches, the evaluator in my line of sight made me nervous, but for some reason I went with the flow of what I was feeling which was good and back in control.

I saw faces nodding in agreement from what I was saying. I looked at Kallie whose enthusiastic smile returned.

The speech went well. I know it was long. The timers’ report said the speech was 12 minutes long. Ouch!

Usually, when I do a speech, that is it, it’s over and I don't do it again. With this speech, I plan to do it over again with a very scaled-down version at a future meeting.

This experience made me feel like the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz needing a little oil because I was rusty. The only difference was that I had a heart and didn’t need to look for one.

A Few Suggestions in the Gentle Art of Saying “No”

1) Listen-Whenever someone came up with a project or something they wanted me to do. I would actually listen to them.  Sometime that is all someone needs is anyone to listen.

Another thing, I would do is I would complement them on their idea, the project and organization.

2) Not To Burn Bridges On The Honest Road I Now Travel- If I want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that. I chose my words and tone carefully.

3) Know My Priorities- The simple fact that I can never be productive if I take on too many commitments. I will not be able to get anything done, at least not well.

4) I Don’t Apologize- I know the common way to say NO is “I’m sorry but …”  It sounds polite and nice. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes me sound weaker. I have become firm, and unapologetic about guarding my time.

5) I Don’t Give Out My Phone Number. If they have my number. They will call and continue to call. I tell people the best way to contact me is through email. People seem not to value what they can get for free. If you make them work to get to you. Most will give up.

If you would like to hear the actual stumble during the speech. Click on.

https://soundcloud.com/artbyrdaudio/saying-no-speech-stumble

Bio:

Arthur Byrd is a six year member and the current President of Executive 408 Toastmasters in Youngstown.

He is an Advanced Communicator Gold and working on his Advanced Leader Silver moving towards his DTM.

Executive 408 Toastmasters Youngstown meets every Monday 6:45-8:45 p.m at the Summitville Tile Building 621 Boardman-Canfield Road in Boardman, Ohio.

Follow Arthur on Twitter @artbyrdview

Follow Executive Club Toastmasters 408 on Twitter @Executive 408

More information about Executive 408 Youngstown   http://www.speakingclub.org/

Be sure to listen to On The Table Podcast with Kim Kracji.

http://onthetablepodcasts.com

Downloadable on ITunes, too.  Kim is awesome.

To Lectern Or Not

 A TED Talks on the Internet are very inspiring and a great way to see different styles of public speaking.

Last week, I attended TEDx Youngstown, which was a part of TED Talks. It was a whole day of hearing many speakers and diverse topics. I know one of the speakers, Greg Smith, a fellow Toastmaster who talked about inspiring kids. He was great. Greg has great stage presence, didn't use notes and used slides to enhance his presentation.

At Toastmasters, there are some situations where the speaker stands behind the lectern and has their notes in front of them. With this style, a speaker can deliver a respectable and amazing speech.

In our club, Executive 408, members like the speakers to come from behind the lectern and come out to the audience.

One thing I've noticed with our newer members, they are coming out from behind the lectern during their early speeches from the manuals.  There is a situation with that, they start their speeches really powerful, then they lose their way and have to look back at their notes. Usually, there is a lull in their speech as they try to find their place on the notes.

My suggestion for newer speakers is to stay behind the lectern, get used to speaking in front of an audience and being comfortable looking at their notes.

As they do more speeches and become more comfortable in front of a group, then gradually come from behind the lectern. They could have a smooth transition from using notes to coming from behind the lectern and eventually using no notes.

Other technique is to come from behind the lectern while making a point and then glide smoothly behind the lectern to glance at the notes and continue.

In my first speech class in college, we were taught to use 3 x 5 notecards for a speech. With the cards so small, I was constantly looking down at them. I would lose contact with the audience and my speech was less effective.

At TEDx Youngstown, at least two speakers use notecards while speaking. One did well because he was passionate about his topic. With the other speaker, I felt that his credibility was slightly lost because he was constantly looking at his notes.  He seemed very uncomfortable.

Another TEDx Youngstown speaker was on stage with actual sheets of paper. He was reading from the papers and looking up occasionally at the audience. Another thing, he was speaking about a subject that most of us didn't know anything about or could relate to.

I looked around at the audience; people were checking their phones and others had a glossy no interest look in their eyes as they listening to that speaker. The speaker just didn't connect with the audience.

I believe that notes should be a guide or map for any speech. So, the speakers can make their points, they would like to make.

Speeches are like a trip with the speaker taking the audience on a journey with their topic, their speech presence and their passion. They clearly know where they are going.

Whether you are doing a Toastmasters speech or a TEDx presentation, make sure the audiences are wearing their seat-belts for enjoyable speech road trip.

Art Byrd has been a member of Executive 408 Toastmasters Youngstown, since 2009.

He has achieved his Competent Communicator, Advanced Bronze, Silver and Gold. Competent Leader and Advanced Leader Bronze. He is working on his Advanced Leader Silver.

Currently, Art is the Vice President of Public Relations for Toastmasters 408 and

the Area Governor for Area 13 in District 10 in Ohio.

Follow Art on Twitter @artbyrdvew
Follow Executive Club 408 on Twitter @ Executive 408
Be sure to listen to On The Table Podcast with Kim Kracji, She interviewed me on my role as Area Governor and visiting Prison Clubs.  http://onthetablepodcasts.com/12
Also, available on ITunes.  Kim's podcast is awesome.